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Offensive language in the work office

Has anyone ever come across an 'angry' person at work that uses vulgar language when they are upset that others perhaps are not doing their job or angry when they are frustrated. In this case, this person is over me. Well, I suppose everyone is when we are Admin. :) I find myself surprised when this person periodically dumps their complaints to me and their face becomes red. I actually become quite concerned for their health and blood pressure. I don't understand why they come to me other than I'm an Admin person and won't repeat anything. I'm not perfect - but I find it offensive to hear it said to me. It is not an everyday word in a professional setting. I try to get him to settle down and I talk calmly. I elicit my help in solving anything I can as an Admin person. But I don't like to listen to the "f" word in sentences over and over.

Submitted by: Alias

 

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I, too, do not like the “F” word in the workplace or otherwise. It is vulgar and crass. I don’t know if this is your boss or not, but you probably need to be a little direct about it. For example, maybe you could say something like, “I do not like the use of the “F” word and feel it is totally unacceptable in the workplace and it is offensive. I can listen to you better and help better if you can find another effective way to express yourself.” The executives in the organization where I work would never dream of using that word in the workplace or to a subordinate. I am sorry you have to endure this. Debbie on 8/10/2016 2:24:52 PM
Hello, While you certainly want to be attentive to and supportive of your supervisor(?), he/she is completely out of line using this offensive language. What he/she is doing is creating an uncomfortable work environment for you. This is a form of harassment. If you have a good relationship with this individual, you must inform him/her what they are doing -- that you find his/her language offensive, and would prefer that he/she does not use the "f" word when venting his/her frustrations. You should do this verbally and in writing. If you are not comfortable sending this person an email, then send the email to yourself, as a matter of record, documenting the conversation. Best, Catherine Falcon on 8/9/2016 3:24:11 PM
I imagine that the majority of the replies you receive will advise you to let the "cursing" manager know that this language is unacceptable, and they will be correct. Allow me to offer this, in addition. We live in a very de-sensitized time. TV, social media, and the news media have been so "in your face" with profanity and sexual inappropriateness that we have become almost numb to these unsavory elements. If you are a bit shy about being completely direct with this person, I suggest that you keep a jar at your desk. Label it with a big (maybe nicely decorated) piece of paper that says "The F Jar". Every time this person uses that word, drop a paper clip or some other easily grabbed item into it. When he asks what you're doing, or when he has completed his latest vent, tell him that the jar represents each F-word he has said out loud at $1 each. When you fill the jar, he owes you the cash, or the cash equivalent in a spa gift card, so that you can infuse yourself with the "zen" that his language killed. Sometimes, humor helps. Ask him if he's up for this challenge. His competitive spirit may kick in, and he may just stop using that word around you. Just another way to approach it. Senior EA-Business Writer on 8/9/2016 3:09:05 PM
I am also sorry that you are being subjected to that type of language. I have never experienced that but there is nothing wrong with telling the person that kind of language is unacceptable to you. If you are firm enough about it, people are usually receptive to what you are saying and, at least until they are able to stop all together, they will apologize for the slip. If it continues anyway, you can always go to HR. Nannette Bouknight on 8/9/2016 2:22:25 PM
Hi, I am sorry you are being subjected to that. Yes, I have experienced the same thing. Honestly, I do not know if you are a strong and direct person, which I am, but I stopped my exec in mid sentence and told him that I understand his frustration, but I am not here to listen to offensive language. If he wants to vent in a civilized manner I am always there to listen and assist, but no one pays me enough money to be subjected to that. He stopped, and told me he understood, and would watch it. Sometime they do not even know they are doing it, but part of my job was to ensure others did not hear him talk like that. Others may not be as forgiving as me. Stand up and tell him/her to stop or just walk away and say you will be back when they have calmed down. No one will stand up for yourself better than you. Good luck and be strong! TinkS on 8/9/2016 2:06:10 PM
I occasionally will take "complaints" at our facility. When someone uses inappropriate language, i simply state. I want to hear and assist you with this mater, but i cannot and will not, if you continue to use those words. Same would apply to anyone in my professional setting. Hope that helps, Janet Janet Datu on 8/9/2016 2:03:19 PM
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