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This is my first time with an inquiry. I have a string of bad luck - I get a great boss than an absolute monster as a boss. The last job I was forced to leave after they physically tried to pull me apart-literally. Again, I had a great boss and his replacement is just a tyrant - he wants a Hooter Girl for an Executive Assistant and has made my life a living hell. I am over 40 and to old and tired to play this game. Two fold, is it worth to sue? or just move on? Thanks, D

Submitted by: Diane Klepadlo

 

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At a minimum you need to report his behavior to HR. Suing isn't always the answer but you do need to expose his behavior so he doesn't do it to the next person as well. Anonymous on 8/25/2008 8:35:09 AM
Move on. You are in the wrong organization. The good bosses are leaving because upper management is horrible and the bad bosses are leaving because they don't like where they work. Until upper management gets a good handle on the working environment and morale of his its employees, and tries to improve everything, the cycle will keep on repeating itself. Anonymous on 8/25/2008 8:34:21 AM
Dear Diane: Take it from one who's been there. Management sticks together like glue and it's all for protection. They don't want their dirty skirts aired in public. Take my advice and look around for another position - before you give up the one you now have. I went to HR and it backfired on me. The statements that I made were changed to reflect a personality clash. However, I was transferred to another position. I thought that was the end of it until six months later when I was transferred again and to a position that was remote. When I inquired as to why I couldn't stay in that position, I was told they didn't want anyone to know of problems and after six months, I had lost any recourse I could have persued. I made the best of it, but couldn't advance - from my sordid past. I finally got another position after several years only to be told by the Commanding Officer's secretary that I made the Command look bad by picking on a full Captain. Even a couple years later when he was restricted to quarters for pulling the same stunts, and even worse stunts, I still couldn't live it down. Was asked if I felt vindicated and the answer was no. I finally retired after I was shifted from one bad position to another and I had no recourse through HR. They replied everyone has problems and I had to be placed where I was needed. I even applied for the CO's secretary job and the reason given for non selection was that I was under the impression that hard work would get me advanced. Please look for another position. It's not worth sticking it out as they will eventually get what they want if they want a Hooter Babe! Marji Martin on 8/21/2008 5:34:18 PM
Diane, It sounds like to me your rights have been violated. You need to stand up for your rights. I'd be happy to email you our policy agains harrassment. Perhaps it will help guide you in what you should do concerning your problem. Good luck in whatever you choose. It's obvious that there needs to be more education on the part of your company regarding harassment. If you want me to email you our policy, I can be contacted at bauer@ci.delray-beach.fl.us. Anonymous on 8/21/2008 6:55:12 AM
I read all the responses you've had, Diane, and some say stay, some say sue, some say tell someone about it. Most women do not know their rights, therefore, they allow the sexual harassment to continue; unfortunately, some even succumb. The first thing that I would advise you is to educate yourself on your rights! There are state and federal laws against sexual harassment and, if your boss is trying to make you "play" to keep your job -- that's called "quid pro quo" and is the WORSE form of sexual harassment. As Patricia Donnellan told you at 9:16:30 AM on 8/20/08, I too hope you have kept yourself a paper trail and even have already complained -- first to the harassor, then to whoever is in your chain of command. If you have someone who is an office manager or if you have a Human Resources Department, then to them. If you have no such chain, if your boss has someone over him, complain to them. It would be most unfortunate if your boss is THE boss! If you do not have any success within the organization, go to your local, regional or state -- however it is set up in your particular state -- EEOC Office -- THAT's the first place outside your company to complain.....then, get yourself a lawyer to advocate for you -- but try to get a person or firm who has a reputation for success in that area of expertise. You can find that information out generally by calling your local Bar Association office. As I stated earlier, however, educate yourself on your rights allowed to you by law -- state and federal -- you generally will find a protocol for the way they would prefer you handle things. If you are not able to find anything or have any further questions, please feel free to email me directly at dnichols@uasystem.ua.edu, and we can go from there. Deb Nichols on 8/20/2008 1:28:44 PM
It is very unfortunate that you had to be subject to such behavior. I believe the problem needs to be dealt with in some way. This sounds like harrassment and it should be at least reported to HR. Moving on will not solve your situation nor make it better for others that might come after you. He needs to know that his behavior is wrong, unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Just my thoughts. SWW SWW on 8/20/2008 10:51:30 AM
Hi D, I think you shouldn't play his games but fight to make sure that if you leave it will be better for the next sister that comes along. He needs to know that we are here to do our job and not provide him with a "hooter girl". I really feel for you right now because that's a tough situation to be a part of and to try and do your job but you sound like a very strong and determined woman and I feel you will do the right thing not only for yourself but also for the ones coming after you. Remember to document everything that is inappropriate behavior, if you sue! STAY STRONG IN THE STRUGGLE!!! Faye Lattimore on 8/20/2008 10:33:07 AM
Move on. You are in the wrong organization. The good bosses are leaving because upper management is horrible and the bad bosses are leaving because they don't like where they work. Until upper management gets a good handle on the working environment and morale of his its employees, and tries to improve everything, the cycle will keep on repeating itself. Anonymous on 8/20/2008 10:11:39 AM
My suggestion is to MOVE ON! Anonymous on 8/20/2008 10:10:42 AM
I hope that you have all of the incidents documented and if you have any witnesses that will help as well. Then go to Human Resources and report you issue to them. The only reason that you would file a lawsuit is if you get no satisfaction from your Human Resources Department. But documentation is very key in situations like this. Does you company have a harassment policy? Then you should make copies of that and present it to him him in a frame! Patricia Donnellan on 8/20/2008 9:16:30 AM
It sounds like your company goes thru alot of upper management. If you really like your position at the company, I would look for ways to make your job more bearable instead of focusing on the boss. Evidently you can't please him, so just enjoy your work. There is a reason why some people feel the need to make other people's lives a living hell. You can't fix his/her problem, but only have control over your situation. You should first confront your boss and let him/her know your feelings. If they don't respond to your liking, then head to the HR department, voice your concerns. Life is too short to dwell on negative situations. And, 40 isn't too old for anything! Think Positive! Karen Rust on 8/20/2008 8:34:01 AM
I am so sorry, but I don't recommend suing unless you can leave the area or can be sure to get a really huge settlement, as with the resulted reputation it will be very hard to find another well paid job. (Been there, done that!) As you are over 40 your best bet would be to find something that you really enjoy even if the salary is lower, because after you turn 50 it is so much harder to find a challenging position anywhere. (I know, businesses are not supposed to descriminate, but when they have to consider health premiums they do.) Good luck! Anonymous on 8/20/2008 7:25:02 AM
It is too bad that you had to go through that situation and I wouldn't want it to happen to the next person that works for this person. I feel that something should be said, it is harrassment and no one should have to go through that. I don't think moving on will will end the game. My thoughts. SW Sandy W on 8/20/2008 7:24:53 AM
Well, this seems like a no-brainer to me. Go to HR if you are being intimidated/harassed in any way--but most especially if it is physical or sexual. No one should be working in a situation like this. If HR is non-responsive or ineffective, start hunting for a new company to work for and decide if you have truly suffered because of this job and then hire an attorney. I do not condone frivolous lawsuits, but if this situation has caused you irrepairable mental or physical distress then you should pursue a legal claim. Make sure you are establishing clear boundaries with your boss, too. Say no if he is out of line, and do it in a clear non-threatening way. Let him know that he is out of line and give him an opportunity to correct his behaviour. E.g: I do not like to be addressed as honey, sweetie, etc. I would prefer you call me "Ms. Smith or Kathy". Kelly Elmer on 8/20/2008 7:21:52 AM
Dear Job Hunt It is now worth - move on. You should try hospital sector it is a very progressive and professional setting. L. Zajac Prospect Connecticut Louisa Daniels on 8/20/2008 7:15:04 AM
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