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Continue to “Grin and Bear It” or time to move on?

I received a promotion about a year ago at work and I now work for one of our Vice Presidents. Most of the time, I absolutely LOVE my job. However, in the last few months I’ve noticed that my boss isn’t the person I thought he was. He is sneaky and just flat out disgusting. Just to give an example he cussed me out one day when I wouldn’t come into his office when I was on a phone call with our CEO. (who also works in our office) I have had a few other issues with him and he makes me very uneasy to the point that I have gone to HR about him. He doesn’t give me a lot of work to do – and the things that he does give me I can have finished in about an hour or so. I’ve been helping our CEO’s Executive Assistant with her workload and that has kept me pretty busy. I think he has noticed and he doesn’t like it. Now, if I’m helping her and he asks me for something – I go right away and do the thing that he has asked me to complete and then I will go back and help her. The other people that I work for in the office are just wonderful! I really enjoy working for/with them. I think they are what has kept me here. My question is… should I just stay here or do you think it’s time for me to look at other places to work? I have actually looked for another job, but nothing pays what I make and they seem like a few steps down from what I do now. I don’t want to go backwards in my career. Please let me know your thoughts, I would love to hear them.

Submitted by: Anonymous

 

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I left a job because of difficulties with a boss believing me over another person who was new to the department and was indeed a Troublemaker. Her position was eliminated in another department, partly due to her "issues." The boss of the department was the most difficult, control freak I had ever worked for. I have not been cursed at, thankfully. I went to HR and they couldn't/wouldn't do anything for me. The situation was so difficult I would get physically ill just thinking about having to go to work. How bad was this boss? Six people who came to work there after me, left well before me. I was there for a mere three (long) years. I had to quit. It was bad for my health and well being. So I went back to school, got a temp job, which I've been at as a permanent employee for 5 years now. I had one minor glitch with a coworker when I was first here, which was quickly resolved and we're friends now.. I'm making about $15K less than I did, but I enjoy coming here and working for and with these folks! The perks are great. Lots of vacation and stuff like that. For you, it doesn't sound like things are going to change. You just may want to consider seriously looking for another job. There are places out there where the work environment is pleasant. Ultimately, you are the one who knows what is best for your finances and well being. I wish you the best. Anonymous on 5/21/2012 12:55:57 PM
I would definitely do what you are doing and keep reporting to HR about it and also keep a file somewhere of things that happen. Even if you have to write it on a sticky note and then take it home for safe keeping. It’s one thing if a coworker is annoying but it’s a whole different story if it’s your boss and he is being that rude and disrespectful. And I would keep helping him first and then go back to helping the other assistant. I’ve been in the position many times that I don’t want to work somewhere anymore due to a coworker or a boss. My best advice is stick with the job you have and just keep looking for a better job (not that when you move on it will be better but it will be a change). I got moved up to an office assistant at a previous job about 4 or 5 years ago and it was great nothing wrong, well then they fired one director I reported to and the other one got a new job. So they hired someone internally that I knew and was fine with and she was going to keep me as her assistant. Well she got like 2 days training on how to be the director so I was helping her a lot, well then she thought I was stepping on her toes (I was just trying to be helpful). So we had a rough spot and then we worked it out. Then about 3 yrs after that I was told my position in the office was being eliminated (by the head director not my direct one). But then my direct one became a witch to everyone that reported to her and she stuck me with someone I didn’t care to work with because they were lazy. I HATED IT! I finally got out of there and come to find out she was having marriage issues but obviously she was bringing them to work with her (not good). Anyways I know have her as a friend again on facebook. Now I’m stuck with the coworker who has no common courtesy and feels the need to make sure I get things done when they aren’t my boss. So I kind of feel no matter where you go there will always be someone that gets under your skin. Good Luck! Annoymous on 5/18/2012 11:33:56 AM
This may sound like a broken record but it is your call. I am in the same boat as you. I am the EA to the owner and he has the same attitude as yours. The only reason he is treating you this way is because he knows that where ever you maybe looking to go you will not get the salary he is paying you. You know your job and you know that you are getting the work done. Ask him if it is ok to help the other EA out when she needs it, that maybe the problem, you are suppose to be his Assistant. I had to go and look at my responsibilities again just to make sure I was doing what I was suppose to be doing. And like you I was going around helping other people as well because I was just sitting around making a call or two scheduling a meeting here and there. I would take the suggestions of everyone and give it time. As was mentioned keep a record of everything said and done, you never know when you might need to produce them as evidence. RG on 5/15/2012 7:31:39 AM
As others have said you have to determine what is most important in your life. In the end, misery isn't worth any amount of money. In my experience, I have observed that the "difficult" ones usually end up going sooner rather than later, if you can stick it out. Anonymous on 5/10/2012 7:19:02 PM
If you have documented his unacceptable behavior, and shared it with your HR department, then you have already done your legal due diligence. Continue to note his actions and words by date and time. Ask for a 30-minute meeting with him, and have an HR representative attend that meeting with you. During that meeting, ask him how you and he can work together to create a non-hostile professional environment, and take notes regarding what he says. If he refuses to give you that meeting, you have a choice to make, and only YOU can make it: Do you put up with him or do you seek employment elsewhere in a more respectful place? Only you can judge the severity of your situation enough to be able to make that choice. Senior EA-Business Writer on 5/10/2012 1:35:02 PM
You have to do what is right for you. If it was me I would ask myself the following questions. 1. What is my happiness worth to me. 2. Am I going to resent myself and/or my boss if I stay here, which may affect my work. 3. Financilally can I afford a pay cut and if I can how much. In the end as the previous poster said you will never find the perfect place to work. There is always going to be something that could be better, however since this 1 person happens to be your boss you really need to weigh whether or not staying is really worth the greif he is giving you and only you can answer that question. I wish you luck and peace. Anonymous on 5/10/2012 1:31:22 PM
Have you spoken to him about his behavior towards you? I would ask him, is there something that I have done? You do not seem to be pleased with me lately? If he has nothing to say, then he is hiding his real feelings. He is not giving you work for a reason, because it limits his interaction with you. Where is HR in this? Have they not cofronted him? Personally the disrespect that he has shown to you, would be grounds to find another job. I am in the same situation. Been cussed at, yelled at, and been at my job for 5 yrs. I've been looking for the past year, he is not going to change and neither is your boss. Tina Marshall on 5/10/2012 1:27:26 PM
No one can make a decision like this for you. However, I have been in my office for 30 some odd years now and can give you this insight. If the pay is good and you don't want to go to a lower position it is not the time to make a move. If you enjoy working with all of the other folks there and there is just this one person stick with it. You may find another opportunity comes up in your office. You will never find the perfect place to work; every office has it's problems. If you only have the one person to deal with; consider yourself lucky! Rose on 5/10/2012 1:22:53 PM
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